Upon goose down, I laid my head
In desperate search of sleep.
With tears and sweat, was soaked that bed
I tried to count some sheep.
Dear Morpheus would answer not
My pleas for slumber true,
And Somnus had my prayers forgot
Nor'd Hypnos grant his boon.
I begged and pleaded long until
An angel said to me:
"Thy sin is that which takes away
The rest that chases thee."
"Dear Mike or Gabe or Uriel!"
I shouted out in fear
"I pray thee to my sin reveal
So I can sleep with cheer!"
"Young fool" he bellowed, sword in hand
"The truth you did disdain!
"You squandered all in foreign land
For thou art humor's bane."
"Baptized I am, and bread and wine
I ate with cockles warm.
And though I laughed not every night
I never humor scorned."
"Raca and curses unto thee"
The angel spoken with spite,
"For you have seen photography
That should have sent to flight
Your belly into laughter loud
And yet you did not smile.
For you were mighty and were proud
And joy you did revile:
For once you looked upon the bike
A man obese and gross.
And all you did was roll your eyes
As though you were morose.
And for thy penance thou art now
Un-fellowshipped from men.
No longer are thee call'd endowed
A eunuch to the end.
So if you wish Hypnos to find
Or Somnus' gift to gain
To laughter you must be inclined
At fatness so profane."
"Unto thy word I do submit,"
I spoke with wetted eyes,
"It's funny yes, I do admit!
And why am I surprised?"
"I mean, it's good, for goodness' sake,
Why was I so opposed?
A motorcycle, lard, and cake
And joy overexposed."
And so I shut my heavy eyes,
But sleep evaded me,
How did that man not just capsize?
It's funny, I agree.
note: my friend Mark sent this picture to me and I didn't think it was funny. He chided me. He was right. It's very funny.
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